Life Flows On….

The nightmare is finally over. My Mom came home from Tennessee on Sunday night. She’s doing well. She went to see her doctor today and received a good report. Her blood pressure meds need to be adjusted since she’s lost twenty pounds since her accident; but, considering what she’s been through, that’s wonderful news.

While we’ve completed the renovations on Mom’s bedroom and bathroom, I still have to finish moving her personal belongings from her old room to her new room. After that’s done, I’ll cobble together my room from the “bomb” that hit the two rooms housing my belongings at the moment. Honestly, while it’s organized chaos, there are boxes and belongings everywhere! The living room looks pretty good all things considered. Mom’s old bedroom soon to become my new bedroom looks like a war zone. It wasn’t that bad until I was hit unexpectedly with yet another move that had to take place immediately. What would have taken me all day to do right had to be done in less than two hours! Life happens, you roll with it, and organized chaos degenerates to a nuclear blast.

However, that being said, I’ve had five weeks of fifteen to eighteen hour work days between my full time job, shifting rooms, and completing my part of the renovations. I’m done with that for now. I’ve decided to take my time and complete the rest of the job over the next couple of months. It just makes more sense now that the urgency is gone. Besides, my body’s cried, “Uncle” and I need to listen. The crazy pace can’t go on.

In the meantime, I’m going to relax a little, take my Mom to the gym, and resume writing these blogs. I’ve missed both the introspection and the sharing. While I’ve been gone for much too long; I never abandoned Calla’s Comments. Not really. I have too many things to say. I did choose to take a break at a time I wasn’t being read when life was totally overwhelming. I started a couple of blogs that were never finished so, my thoughts were with you if my pen wasn’t.

Now that I’m back, I’d like to thank everyone reading this. I hope my life helps you. That’s the whole point of the writing. The second thing I want to do is give credit where credit is due. I wouldn’t have made it through this traumatic period without my faith. I was largely alone and struggling to deal everything that happened. It was touch and go there with my Mom for a couple of weeks. She could have died at any time while I was over two hours away getting garbled information about what was happening to her. Fortunately, family was there; but, it wasn’t me since I had to work. That was the horrible part of it all. That I couldn’t be there.

When I felt I couldn’t take anymore, I handed the fear, exhaustion, and Rheumatoid off to God. That was the only way I could make it through the day. What I couldn’t handle, He could, and did. Every day throughout the day. No matter how I felt, I knew I wasn’t alone. God was with me. I felt His presence when I needed it most. When I cried out for answers, He gave them to me. When I faltered, He was with me. He gave me the strength to do what had to be done.

While I try to write these blogs so anyone embracing any belief system can get something out of them, every now and then I’m compelled to write with an overtly Christian slant. I won’t apologize for that. The personal relationship I have with God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit is the most valuable “possession” I own. I’ve worked hard to reach the point I am now. To believe I’m worthy to have God’s love. To have anyone’s love. That wasn’t His fault as I’ve already said in other places.

My self-perception was a result of my life up to the point I wrote Been There, Done That…Had The Smashed-Up Face To Prove It. That was the point where I chose to redefine myself to myself and I chose to do that as God sees me and not as I’ve always seen myself. That decision was the major turning point I’ve been building on ever since and maintaining that healthy self-image takes a close walking/talking relationship with my Creator. The one who loves me no matter who I am, what I think, and what’s been done to me.

I’ve said enough for today. Until next time,

Calla