Category: observations

Food For Thought · General Quirkiness · History · observations

Pensive Moments…

Tori LennoxLeave a comment

Usually means I’m pondering some aspect of my humanity. Of what it means to be human in the broader sense of the word. I do that frequently. I’m fascinated by people and by what makes us tick. I often wonder why we think, believe, and act the way we do and I’m amazed by how little we’ve changed over thousands of years. That we’re still motivated by the same desires and emotions that have motivated us since the beginning of time. Both the good and the bad. Sometimes all that pondering sends me hopping down some pretty weird rabbit trails….

No, I’m not preparing to launch into another commentary on current events. I said my piece in the preceding blog. I will make the generalized statement people have been twisting stories and facts to suit their purposes for millennia. That hasn’t changed either and I doubt it ever will. That tendency seems to be hotwired into us. While I’m not sure this post will help anyone in a discernable manner, I hope it makes you rethink from where, and from whom, you get your facts. That’s something we all need to do every now and then.

What started my mental meanderings in the first place was a recent attempt to watch a popular History Channel program that touts panspermia and the “undeniable” reality it was impossible for us lowly humans to have amounted to much without “alien” intervention. Alien as in extraterrestrial entities. Not alien as in someone from a different country. So, I’m not a true believer when it comes to little green men or grays although I was a rabid X-Files fanatic back in the day. I wanted to believe, and I tried. I just couldn’t quite get there with the evidence shown.

Now that I’ve disclosed my biases, you might wonder why I was watching that program in the first place. For starters, I read the book that spawned the television series when I was young. All of eleven or twelve years old if that. I reread the book a few years later when I was in college. By that time, I was a history freak so I wasn’t convinced by what I was reading. The so-called hard and fast evidence I found so fascinating as a tween wasn’t nearly as persuasive to a young adult with a significant background in ancient and medieval history.

Fast forward to the present when I thought it amused me to see just how far these “experts” were willing to twist the history I’m so familiar with in their quest to “prove” some off-the-wall theory of the week by rewriting history in a deceptive manner. I wasn’t amused. I was disturbed. For one thing, you can’t accurately interpret what an ancient artist was trying to portray when viewing an ambiguous picture or petroglyph through twenty-first century eyes. Nobody can.

That’s true of history in general. You have to consider the historical context of the event or artifact in question when you’re attempting to accurately interpret a discovery. If you don’t, your interpretations are rife with error. Any attempt that show on the History Channel makes towards legitimacy is undone when the “authorities” flip back to their mantra, “Ancient astronaut theorists say yes” instead of supplying any real proof to support their theory. Again, this is nothing new. People have been playing the disinformation game for thousands of years. Take the battle of Kadesh (Qadesh) fought in 1274 BC in modern day Syria. Both the Eqyptian Pharaoh Ramses II and the Hittite Prince Muwatalli II claimed victory. In truth, the battle was so inconclusive the two sides met fifteen years later to sign the first nonaggression pact known to history.

Hopping off that rabbit trail, I’ll get back to the first point I want to make. (My second point will appear in a separate post.) That point is it’s easy to twist history to suit your purposes. Especially in a culture that abandoned learning anything about history years ago. Basically, all anyone has to do is repeat their story long enough and strong enough that people start to believe it. Once that happens, most of the work is done.

The History Channel has done that and done it well. Back in 1995 when the HC started, it quickly became my favorite channel. I watched their history programs nonstop. Some of their programming was great; some not so great. Having a history degree, I knew the difference. The archeologists starring in the questionable programs tried to prove their pet theory with differing degrees of success. I still watched and enjoyed these programs for what they were. Mainly entertainment. However, I didn’t believe most of what I saw because the supporting proof usually wasn’t there when I dug deeper into the information they presented.

While I loved watching the history programs, I watched the UFO and cryptozoology programs gradually bleeding into the history programming as well. Again, the programs were interesting; but, not wholly convincing. Over the years, the history programs started disappearing as reality shows and UFO/UAP themed shows began to dominate the channel. They still do as we’ve gone from a world that viewed aliens and alien abduction with a degree of skepticism to a world where political candidates make government disclosure of UFOs part of their platform. Again, believe what you want to believe just as I do; but, television is a powerful influencer. I’ve learned to be careful about what I see and hear.

Once words and images get in your head and your heart they’re hard to get out.

To illustrate that point, I’ll compare Shakespeare’s well-known villain, MacBeth, as he appears in the play with the real man, Bethad mac Findlaich, Mormaer of Moray and King of Scotland. I bet the images you have in your mind of this character bear very little resemblance to the real man. Again, I’m presenting an oversimplified version of a complex story that will never be fully unraveled. You might wonder why I’m using such an off-the-wall example. It’s because this comparison was the basis of a college paper I wrote for a senior level Shakespeare class I was taking at the time. As limited as the historical record was, and still is, on the real MacBeth, I was surprised by what I discovered both back then and now.

You might be, too.

According to Shakespeare’s portrayal, MacBeth was a treacherous, power hungry tyrant who used murder and supernatural means to seize the throne of Scotland. To accomplish his nefarious desires, Macbeth not only consorted with witches; but he stabbed the elderly King Duncan I in his bed before framing the King’s guards for the crime. MacBeth then had anyone he, or his wife, perceived as threats to his rule slaughtered. That included former allies, their wives, and their children. Lady MacBeth was an equally vile character and a major instigator behind her husband’s bloody deeds.

While I’ll give Shakespeare credit for writing his wickedly good tragedy, he doesn’t get full credit for his characterization of MacBeth. Some of the credit goes to the writers of at least two popular histories circulating at the time: Holinshed’s Chronicles (1577, 1587) and Hector Boece’s Scotorum Historia (1527). Holinshed’s account was written more to please James VI of Scotland, a descendant of Malcolm III, than with any intent to record history accurately. Using legendary sources and romanticizing history to curry favor with the powers that be wasn’t an unusual practice in the past, and it isn’t an unusual practice today. That’s one reason you never accept what you read without doing your research including rigorously vetting your sources.

While there is some supposition in the real MacBeth’s life story, there is a lot we do know from sources like the Annals of Ulster which is generally accepted as being historically accurate. We do know both MacBeth and King Duncan I had legitimate claims to the throne of Alba (Scotland) through their mothers. We also know MacBeth’s father, Findlaech mac Ruaidri, Mormaer of Moray, was killed by his own people again according to The Annals of Ulster.

This is generally taken to mean he was most likely killed by his nephews, Malcolm of Moray and Gillecomgan. Or, possibly, by MacBeth himself. Considering both of Findlaech’s nephews assumed the title of Mormaer back to back after his death, my money is on one or both of them being the murderers. The reason I believe that is MacBeth was around fifteen at the time of Findlaech’s death in 1020. He didn’t have any reason to murder his father for a title he’d eventually get anyway.

Fast forward to 1032 when MacBeth may have been responsible for the death of Gillecomgan the current Mormaer of Moray. If it wasn’t him, the other suspect is Duncan I. Whether MacBeth was guilty or not, he assumed the title of Mormaer of Moray, married Gillecomgan’s widow, Gruoch, and adopted his son, Lulach, as his heir. Considering Gruoch was the granddaugher of Kenneth III, King of Alba (Scotland), marrying her only strengthened MacBeth’s claim to the throne.

None of that sounds like a man who murdered his father to take his title to me. It sounds more like someone who killed his father’s murderer to claim what was rightfully his. All of which happened frequently during the Middle Ages. Again, that’s my take and an oversimplified retelling of a complex situation. I’ll leave it at that

Moving back to Shakespeare’s play and the real MacBeth, he never murdered anyone in their bed. Duncan I (King of Alba) was 39 when he launched an attacked into MacBeth’s lands and died for his trouble. The men of Moray led by MacBeth killed Duncan during the battle at Bothnagowan in August of 1040. MacBeth then assumed the title of King of Alba with no known resistance. He had a relatively peaceful reign that lasted from 1040 to 1057. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t attacked or that he didn’t surrender territory; he did. However, in spite of some turbulence, his reign was stable enough for MacBeth and his wife to make a pilgrimage to Rome in 1050.

I think reading about this pilgrimage made the biggest impression on me. I realized if MacBeth felt confident enough in his rulership to leave Scotland for the six months or so it would have taken him to make a round trip to Rome, he didn’t fear usurpation in a time when usurpation was the name of the game. That indicated to me that he was neither a tyrant nor a weak leader. He had a certain degree of respect among his people. If that wasn’t true, he wouldn’t have gone to Pope Leo IX’s Papal Jubilee and left himself open to a coup.

However, MacBeth’s leadership was eventually challenged, as it had to be. That challenger was Malcolm Canmore (Malcolm III), one of Duncan’s sons, exactly as you’d expect. And, exactly as you’d expect in that turbulent time, MacBeth’s kingship ended as it began. On a battlefield. In 1057, MacBeth was killed at the Battle of Lumphanan by the future King Malcolm III. Lulach succeeded his stepfather as King of Alba for a few months before he died in battle against Malcolm who assumed the throne as Malcolm III in 1058.

From what I discovered during my past and present research, the real MacBeth was considered anything but a tyrant according to near contemporary sources. The Duan Albanach, a version of which was recorded during the reign of Malcolm III, refers to MacBeth as “Mac Bethad the renowned.” Strengthening the case that MacBeth was a respected leader is the fact he was buried on Iona where only the rightful Kings of Scotland were buried.

Wrapping this up, I’m going to make a fairly sweeping statement. Whether I’m right or I’m wrong, I think most people who know who MacBeth was believe Shakespeare’s version. That the man was a vile, blood thirsty murderer willing to slay anyone standing in his way. Even innocent women and children. While MacBeth was no angel, he wasn’t that character. That description fits his relative Malcolm II better in my opinion. In a time when the kingship usually went from brother to brother, Malcolm II insured the kingship went from him to his grandson (he had no sons, only daughters) by killing off as many rival claimants as he could. Somehow, he missed MacBeth.

So, in conclusion, from the evidence available, I believe MacBeth was a man of his time. Although he was the King of Scotland, he wasn’t the only king in Scotland in the 11th century. Nor was he the only man with a legitimate claim to the throne of Scotland. There were several players waiting in the wings to seize his throne, legitimate and not. The raw truth is most of the Kings of Scotland at this time didn’t die in their sleep. They were murdered, assassinated, or killed on the battlefield. That’s just a fact of life. Most warriors lived by the sword and they died by the sword. The real MacBeth was definitely a warrior.

As nutty as this post is in some respects, I believe I’ve made the point that it’s fairly easy to rewrite history of every kind. It always has been. Even in the days of cuneiform and hieroglyphs. If that’s true, and it is, I hope you realize how easy it is to do just that in a time when technology and social media rule the day.

Until next time,

Calla

Been There, Done That Part 2 · observations · writing

Whatever the “New Normal” is…

Tori LennoxLeave a comment

My life hasn’t changed that much. I doubt it will. For the past few weeks, I’ve gone to work, come home, and worn a mask when I needed to. Not all that different from the way it’s always been (mask excluded). Not from my perspective. Maybe that’s because I’ve never been “normal.” I’ve spent most of my life on the outside looking in. Feeling more “different” than I probably was. I’m sure a lot of us feel that way at some point in our lives.

However, if you spent any time around me, you’d quickly realize I wasn’t your typical teen-aged anything. For one thing, in spite of my avid pursuit of fashionable clothes, makeup, and hair, I had less innocuous interests as well. All you had to do was skim my reading material to see that.

Tucked among the stacks of dog-eared second-hand Harlequins, historical romances, and fantasy novels, were various archaeology, science, and psychology magazines. Tucked among those were the requisite Cosmo and Glamour just to keep me girlie. Smacked untidily on top of all that you’d find the latest Han Holzer book recounting his most recent paranormal investigations. While I straddled the fence between belief and disbelief, I tilted more in the direction of wanting to believe in things that go bump in the night. You know, ghosts, poltergeists, vampires, werewolves, and aliens. I was young and I enjoyed poking around in crazy places.

However, in spite of my tendencies, I’ve never taken other people’s opinions or facts as my own. I’ve always done my research. So, in spite of what I wanted to believe, I’m not a true believer. I wasn’t then and I’m not now. There are more “things” on earth and in the Heavenlies than we’ll ever understand in spite of our on-going efforts. That includes all the people shouting their beliefs to anyone who will listen without offering reliable proof that isn’t twisted to suit their purposes. I occasionally watch those shows, too, and I have for close to thirty years. I’m not trying to step on anyone’s toes here. I’ve devoted my life to studying ancient and medieval history across multiple cultures and disciplines. I stay pretty up-to-date on the latest discoveries in a lot of different fields that have nothing to do with archaeology. I’m a curious person.

It ‘s never enough to make a statement to the effect of “Is so-and-so true?” then conclude with, “So-and-so say, yes.” as if it’s definitive proof about ANYTHING in life. Just because someone says whatever doesn’t make it true and, yes, I still believe in absolute truths that aren’t fluid. Call it my age, my personality, or my life experience. I call it my need to be fixed in a reality that doesn’t change with the wind and trending opinions. I’m still a “truth-seeker” in a world where absolutes aren’t popular. That doesn’t mean my opinions don’t alter or change as I uncover new information. They can and they do. That’s how we grow and mature as human beings. It’s a valid part of the human experience.

In this age of technology and impatience, we don’t necessarily want that experience. We’re much too easily swayed by what we “google,” see on the news, or read on social media. We don’t take the time to do the in depth research necessary to make informed decisions for ourselves. We rely on others to do that for us.

The problem with that is we’re all biased in some way or the other. Some of us operate in the open; others operate from hidden agendas. That’s just a fact of life. That’s why it’s so important we think for ourselves from an informed position. We can’t blindly follow the herd or get trapped in our fears. I’ve always thought for myself; but, for years, my actions and reactions were influenced by deeply buried traumas and fears. I suspect a lot of us are flopping around in that boat on stormy seas without even realizing it. I never did.

Getting back to my original topic, you’d find my stash of mythology and astrology books under my bed and on my desk. As far as I was concerned, there was a kernel of truth in those myths and I was a “truth-seeker.” I’d go where the research took me. As for the Astrology books, they were empowerment. If you’ve read some of my past posts, you already know I believed if I knew what might happen, I could stop/control what did happen. That mindset is a devious deception that will lead you into making the very decision propelling you into the situation you’re trying to prevent. Again, that attitude is fear based and fear makes you stupid. I know what I’m talking about. I lived with that mindset for many years.

From my present perspective, the best defense against bad things happening is to remain calm, learn from your mistakes, and make wise decisions based on solid research and careful considerations. If you’re a believer, that involves prayer and seeking God’s counsel. If you’re not, it’s a little trickier. My advice is to seek the wisdom of someone you respect and trust who makes the kind of decisions that keeps their life on a positive track. Another thing I’ve learned from experience is, if there’s a voice in your head shouting not to do something, don’t do it. Bluntly, a “what the hell” moment isn’t worth the literal Hell that decision usually leads to. Again, I’ve been there and done that way too many times. Sometimes seemingly bright people can be stubbornly stupid. I’m a case in point.

So, on with the post, and my “magic” bookshelves loaded with everything from raunchy historical romances to books on ancient cultures, UFO’s, and the nineteenth century Spiritualist movement. I was into everything from psychology to black holes. If something had a paranormal or a supernatural bent, I was interested in knowing more. I still am, just from a different perspective. So much of my life was permeated by the Supernatural. It still is. Again, from a different perspective.

However, at that time my seemingly “innocent” pursuit of knowledge and my need to control my life led me deeper into darkness. I learned to cast Astrology charts and read Tarot Cards. I consulted Psychics trying to find stability in my unstable world. As crazy as it sounds now, while I knew I was trafficing in areas I shouldn’t, I didn’t think I was doing anything “wrong.” Maybe not for some people; but, definitely wrong for me and I felt it deep inside. But, I was selectively blind. I was someone who would never touch a oujia board or read ancient spells from a cuneiform text in a history book because I didn’t want those negative words in my head; but, I’d consult a “Christian” medium who spoke words from some “spirit” that scared the heck out of me? What’s screwy about this picture? For the record, I never went back to that woman.

I’m going to wrap this up by saying I was a very lost, confused woman for a lot of years. That’s really what my next book is about. How confusion, low self-esteem, and fear led me down occultic paths that influenced my real-life decisions in destructive ways that reinforced my sense of worthlessness. Even when I walked away from those influences, it took me years to get free of the residual effects. I see that now.

That’s what’s so wonderful about these posts. They take me places I never meant to go. Reveal realities I’d yet to see. Yes, I ramble, and I apologize if that drives you crazy; but, I don’t write from an outline with a succinct message. I write from my heart and soul in the hope I can help myself, as well as you, make sense of an often senseless world.

I’m sure I’ll revisit this topic again; so, until then,

Calla

Been There, Done That · emotional healing · observations · writing

Just Another Strange Moment in my Strange Little World….

Tori LennoxLeave a comment

When I decided to write my blog, I promised myself I wouldn’t write from negativity. That isn’t to say there aren’t “ugly” moments in my posts. There are. That’s part of the second promise I made myself. The one where I agreed to be brutally honest about my life, my journey, and my struggles to be a happier, healthier me. While I occasionally post silly pictures of my dogs, I strive to write more meaningful pieces. Ones I hope will get “liked” not for the ego stroke: but, because that’s how I know I’ve struck a chord with someone and, hopefully, impacted their life for the better. At the least, I’ve made someone think, and that’s important, too.

Before I go any further, since this post will be hitting new social media outlets I’ve never used before, I should inform any new readers I’m a Charismatic Christian at this point in my life. While I try to write from a more general viewpoint, I don’t hide my personal feelings. I’ll also say I haven’t always been a practicing Christian or a Charismatic. I was raised Southern Baptist although I was rarely in church. I’ve lived most of my life as a non-practicing believer. I should also say I’m not trying to convert anyone. You choose your belief system just as I chose mine. What I’m trying to do is make my readers think, abandon destructive habits, live a more content life, and not make the same mistakes I’ve made. One of us living through forty years of emotional Lo-debar is enough.

I’m writing this piece to that end and I’ll admit it’s a little on the odd side. I decided to put my thoughts to “paper” a couple of days ago while I was out walking and praying. I felt God was telling me to write out what I was feeling and thinking in that moment. To confront the last of some ugliness I laid to rest a long time ago. There’s something about putting your thoughts to paper that’s liberating. Words have power on so many levels. So, I’m taking His suggestion and doing that. Putting words to paper.

Just as I did with Been There, Done That…Had the Smashed Up Face to Prove It, I’m writing openly and honestly with no apologies. As I type this, all I can say is welcome to Calla’s strange little world. Strange in the sense that I’m writing a letter to a person who will never see it. Or, more accurately, I don’t think he will. Honestly, I don’t care if he does. This isn’t about him.

It’s about me and the person I left behind when I finally accepted my worth was never defined by the mental, physical, and sexual abuses I’ve endured over the years. It’s about hindsight revelations and emotional freedom. About writing from honesty, vulnerability, and strength. Changing your self-perception involves embracing all three. I know that from experience.

I wasted forty years of my life believing the lies spoken over me. Don’t get me wrong, I never had a victim mentality through it all. I was always a survivor; but, I was handicapped. The secret to my survival wasn’t the healthy mindset that I wasn’t responsible for other people’s actions – They were. – I honestly never saw that. The only reason I made it through the darkness was because some ornery part of me refused to die, commit suicide, or be destroyed even when I wanted the nightmare to end.

With hindsight, I was incredibly stupid and I could have ended my ordeal years before I did. I admit that now. Over the years I was fantastic at dishing out common sense advice that helped a lot of people. It would have helped me, too. If I’d been willing to take it. I wasn’t. By the time I had any wisdom, I’d already accepted I was nothing.

You see, I believed the father who told me I would never be what my Mother was. Right. Never believe the man who abused you. I believed the teachers who told me what I couldn’t do or be. They were wrong; but, I didn’t know it. When everything was said and done, I believed I didn’t matter. Other people did. That’s how I lived my life. For other people. That’s one of the worst mistakes you can make. Yes, take care of people. Give them the love and respect they deserve. But, expect the same love and respect in return.

That’s something I never did…especially when it came to the so called “love of my life.” While I called him that in my mind for many years, I don’t any longer. For one thing, I’m not sure such a person really exists for a lot of us. Sometimes, it’s more of a romanticized idea encompassing the one that got away. While I do believe a lot of people are blessed with healthy, happy long-term romantic relationships, it’s not a given.

It wasn’t for me. Hence, I’m confronting the truth, and laying the fantasy to rest through the following letter:

Dear Ghost From My Past:

You weren’t evil. Not truly. You were just as emotionally damaged as me in ways that weren’t apparent. Not in the beginning. By the time that truth manifested, I was in too deep. While I wish I’d been stronger, I wasn’t. I was flattered a vibrant, successful man like you would pursue a nobody like me instead. I didn’t know what you saw in me back then. I still don’t…not fully anyway.

What I do know is beneath that handsome, successful demeanor was a man with inferiority issues of his own. You wouldn’t expect the women in your life to “prove” their love if you weren’t. While I see that now, I didn’t then. I saw it as an emotional vulnerability resulting from a failed marriage and the loss of daily contact with the children you loved. As I pieced your story together over time, I realized the truth of the matter.

I also realized, we were doomed from the start. We were far too different to last. You wanted someone to love you. I needed someone to love. You were never faithful. I was. I thought you were my savior. You betrayed me instead. Being with me helped you navigate difficulties in your life. Being with you turned me into someone I didn’t know. That wasn’t your fault.

Since I chose to stay, it was mine.

That being said, I’m happy to say I see you through very different eyes today than I did then. With the passage of time and healing, I no longer see a knight in dented armor. I see a weak man worthy of pity. I see a man who found it easier to sneak, lie, and cheat than deal with his intimate relationships honorably. To end one dating relationship before beginning another. I see the man who taught me to never say never as in, “I’d never do that.” and the one who taught me to like myself even less than I already did. It’s not your fault I chose to stay when I found out I was “the other woman” when I thought I was the only one. It doesn’t matter you weren’t married, only dating. It was still dishonorable and destructive to everyone involved.

In the end, I see the relationship I wanted to work that I’m glad didn’t.

I also see the relationship I romanticized until I finally didn’t.

So, in closing, Ghost From My Past, you’re nothing more than the memory of a lesson well learned. I’ve laid the sorrow, guilt, and wistfulness to rest in the wake of seeing truths I should have seen long ago. Mainly, we were bad for each other.

Here’s wishing you all the best,

Living in the Present

If you’ve made it this far, all I can say is I hope you found something valuable in what I’ve said. Something along the lines of, “If your significant other asks you to do things that compromises your values, makes you uncomfortable, or causes you emotional pain walk away.” It’s not a relationship worth pursuing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. Healthy relationships are never built on lies, cheating, or demeaning words or actions. I’ve been there, done that, and reaped years of emotional repercussions.

Until next time,

Calla

General · observations

Just thinking…Sometimes that’s a dangerous thing.

Tori LennoxLeave a comment

As I sit here waiting for the day I return to work, my thoughts are wandering all over the place. The U.S. is slowly opening back up and none of us really know what’s going to happen. We have all these people giving us “educated guesses” and theories. Since I’m not living in fear, I don’t really care about what could happen. I care about keeping myself and the people I’m around as safe as possible so I’m going to stick with the masks and the gloves for a while. There’s something to be said for respecting a killer you can’t see.

In spite of my actions, I’m only so safe and I know it. The truth is I’m greatly impacted by how the people around me choose to live their lives. I live in a smaller town in Florida, and from what I see, most of the general public have abandoned even minimal precautions in favor of going back to the normal they’ve always known. No masks, no real distancing, and no caution. It’s the same old same old and it’s troubling to me. I’m not talking about the stores and businesses. They’re doing their best to be safe. I’m talking about their patrons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as ready as the next person to put all of this behind me. To be “wild and free.” Right, I’m ready to come and go as I please, say “Hi!” to a stranger, hug my elderly Mom, and shop without gloves. Simple things; but, oh, so important in my day-to-day life.

Honestly, I’ve done better through this whole lockdown experience than I thought I would. For one thing, I’ve picked my battles and only fought the ones I could win. I can’t win against the coronavirus and I’m not going to try. I’m going to do what I need to do and thank God I’m healthy. For another, I’ve walked three or four miles in the sunshine almost every day in areas where I have minimal to no contact with other people. Just being able to appreciate the trees and animals goes a long way towards restoring my peace of mind. It’s my prayer time and it works. It’s also my thinking time.

What’s important about my thinking time is things come to me I haven’t thought about in years. I’m a small town girl in my mid-fifties who’s lived through a lot of “stuff.” Part of that stuff was the beginning of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Here we are thirty plus years into living with HIV in all it’s various incarnations and it’s just an unpleasant reality. We think we know all there is to know about the disease including how to manage and prevent it. Life goes on and everybody has sex with whomever they please, however they please. People still get sick; but, for the most part we treat it. Yes, I know that’s and over-simplification. But, I don’t think most of us spend a significant part of our lives thinking about AIDS anymore like we did in the past. One day, given time, Coronavirus will be the same.

However, back in the day (the early to mid 1980’s) when I was a teen-aged college student attending a small town University in rural South Carolina, things were different. We were just learning about a wicked, incurable disease that was breaking on the scene with a vengeance. By the time we were reading the magazine/newspaper articles introducing the horrors of the disease in terms of mass destruction, HIV was already known in Africa and big cities like New York and London. Where I lived, we were years behind the times.

I remember being horrified by what I read. Yes, I knew there were incurable diseases out there like cancer and I knew people died from everyday diseases like the flu. But, sexually transmitted diseases were embarrassing situations that didn’t cause serious problems unless they weren’t treated. Most people didn’t die from them. Let me say at the time I’m talking about I lived at home with over protective parents so I wasn’t in any danger of contracting this new, 100% fatal disease and, supposedly, none of my friends and acquaintances were either. Right.

At the time I learned about HIV it was called AIDS and it was only found among drug users, in the homosexual community, or in Africa. I’m not being a homophobe or discriminating against anyone. I’m telling you what was believed in the early days. We didn’t know you could get it by blood transfusion or that babies could be infected through the birth canal. A lot of vile things were said and done in the name of ignorance and mean-spiritedness. Even where I lived. Years later, we figured out our theories and suppositions weren’t right. Unfortunately, before we did, there were people out there knowingly and unknowingly committing murder by disease because they’d become infected through heterosexual sex which wasn’t considered risky behavior in the early days. There still are.

Sounds a little like Coronavirus doesn’t it? We don’t really know anything about the disease. Not like we will in a few months and years. However, we’re still being told things like you probably won’t get it if you’re young and healthy. While that may be true for the most part, it isn’t true for everyone. If you don’t believe that, just watch the Social Media posts by the Spring Breakers who partied on our Florida beaches a few weeks ago. Several of those youngsters ended up on the Internet warning anyone who would listen that that wasn’t necessarily true and they were now suffering with disease.

All I can say at this point is we have to resume our lives and we have to get back to work. We just need to do it with wisdom and consideration for the people around us. Here in America, a lot of us tend to think more in terms of what I want and less in terms of how my actions might impact others. That’s not necessarily evil. It’s human nature. Self-preservation is built into us and thank God it is. Most of us wouldn’t survive to adulthood if it wasn’t.

However, as we go forward, my hope and prayer is that we navigate this chaotic new world unfolding with generous dispositions, cautious joy, and a degree of wisdom we might not normally employ. Stay safe, enjoy your life, and know we will get through this. This isn’t the first pandemic the world has weathered and it won’t be the last. There truly is nothing new under the sun…Just experiences that are new to us.

Until next time.

Calla