I’m just living in that no-man’s-land between creativity and despair.
Not really. It’s nothing so dramatic. I’m torn between finishing the novel I need to finish and working on the book that’s calling my name. That’s why I haven’t written anything here. I’ve been trying to get my focus where it needs to be and it’s been difficult for a week or two. Between some minor health issues and navigating some major revisions I need to make in this novel, it’s been a fight to get the words to flow. However, that’s how it rolls sometimes. The good news is I’m finally over the first hump and the novel is flowing again.
However, I’ve started to feel like a smarter course of action is to do that one last read-through on the finished contemporary that’s ready to go and submit it. Even if it gets turned down, at least I have something with potential in a publisher’s hands while I’m editing and re-editing the novel I believe will get me somewhere. Yes, I’m an overthinker. While self-publishing and self-promotion are my go-to moves if this fails, the child within me still wants that publishing house contract in hand. It’s not an ego thing. It’s seeking the fulfillment of a life-long dream.
As I sit here on a rainy, cool Florida day watching the squirrels, painted buntings, and cardinals wreaking havoc on my back patio, I know pursuing my desire to write for a living is within reach. While I’m not the best writer out there, nor do I aspire to be, I have come to realize I have a niche. At least for my contemporaries and romantic suspense. I enjoy writing easy beach reads that are more sensual than explicit or erotic in nature. In a world where most romance writers are more MA than M, my stories have more to do with emotions and second chances than they do with crazy physical passion and perfect love.
My historical/historical romances are a different matter. While some of them are in a lighter vein like my contemporaries, the series closest to my heart is raw. Having spent my life studying ancient and medieval history, I try to suspend my 21st century values to recognize what made a good man or woman back then was vastly different that what makes a “good” person now.
My stories aren’t about judging or whitewashing characters to make them fit the sensibilities of modern readers. They’re about portraying life and relationships as they were or as close to it as my research and my imagination can get. While Thor would just as soon kill you as look at you under certain circumstances, he has an honor code that is very real. While Alexandria can wield a sword as good as any man out of necessity, she’s not just a warrior maiden. She’s a strong, maternal, protective woman who does what she has to do to save her people. While desperation drives both of them to do things they wouldn’t normally do, there are still things they won’t do. Lines they won’t cross and so on.
Anyways, I’m trying to get all the fluff-in-stuff I enjoy writing out of the way so I can throw on some Journey or Foreigner and focus on my Golden Wolf. My passionate love affair with crafting historical novels/historical romances with enough romance to appeal to woman and enough action to suck a man in is just too much fun to let fall by the wayside for too long.
As usual, I’ve ended up somewhere I didn’t mean to go. That’s okay. I mainly wanted to say I’m still out here and I will be writing again. Since this post has taken me several days to write, things have changed a little from the beginning. I did submit that book I was talking about to a publisher and I also submitted the pitch for a second contemporary romance at the same time. Say a prayer for me. No matter what happens, it was the right thing to do. I’m eagerly awaiting the response knowing I’ll be okay either way.
As I bring this post to close, I’ll be back soon. Hopefully writing about writing; but you know me by now. I tend to go all over the place. There’s just something so alluring about all those mental butterflies flitting about in my head that I get lured into pursuing them. That’s not a bad thing. It keeps me younger than my chronological age which is definitely a good thing. I’m so lucky I have the best of both worlds. I’m still vibrant enough to pursue my youthful flights of fancy and grounded enough to stay focused on getting novels written in a timely manner. It takes a certain maturity I didn’t necessarily have in my youth to tune all the temptations out and do what has to be done which is why you haven’t heard from me in much too long. I’ve been tuning out those distractions and this blog is a tempting one.
Anyways, I’ll write soon and thank you for reading. It’s an honor to share my insanity.
Until next time,
Calla
Tori Lennox Author 