When I started this blog back in August of 2019, I promised myself I would update weekly. That never happened. Like most of us, I have tons of excuses, most of them legit. My Mom’s fall, her strokes, Covid-19, work, my dog’s death, my injured back, my personal health…You name it, I could probably claim it up to a point. The truth is closer to I just lost the spark. Thankfully not my fire for life. I’m too much of a fighter for that. But that burning desire to share, yeah, that went out the door. Procrastination became the word of the day.
I’m really good at that in my personal life although I’m very responsible when it comes to bills and work. Things I’m held accountable for. Not so disciplined when it comes to “want-tos.” I’m working on that. I left my job in December to take care of my Mom full time. She’s doing great; but there are a lot of things she can’t do for herself any longer. In spite of the occasional head butts, it’s working out great. I’m not making money; but I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time and that’s priceless.
However, I’m old enough and wise enough to know a major lifestyle change means a major change in how you live. I started changing my mind set before I ever left my job. Since I know how I operate, I immediately started implementing those changes on my first day home. I’d promised myself I’d deep clean the house in ways I never had while I was working. Once I had the house in good shape, I’d maintain it weekly. It took a while to develop the habit, but I’ve kept my promise. It hasn’t been easy since I abhor housework. Honestly, I’m proud of myself for finally growing up enough to dive in and just get it done. It makes me feel good to finally be doing something I know I should have been doing all along. However, the weekly cleanings drive my Mom nuts since she says the house isn’t dirty.
While that might be true, I know me. I have to maintain the habit or I’ll lose it. I have a daily to-do list that has to get done before I can do anything else. As restrictive as that sounds, having a loose schedule I’m dedicated to following is actually liberating. As long as I maintain my rhythm, I get the necessary things done with time left over for personal pursuits.
You might wonder what that has to do with writing? The answer is, a lot. I’ve always been a sporadic writer which means I create when the mood hits. That’s all fine and dandy when I’m in RL mode with writing on the back burner. Truthfully, that’s been most of my adult life out of necessary. To put it bluntly, I’ve lived in survival mode with little time or energy left over for hopes and dreams. I’m not in that mode any more. I now have the luxury of time and a peace of mind I haven’t had in a long time.
So, instead of just working on my novels, I’m writing with purpose once again. I’m in the final stretch on two relatively short novels roughly one hundred and twenty words together. I’ve written fanfic double that. The wonderful part of having dedicated time every day to write is I’m not driven to just get it done while I can. My attitude towards writing is different. I now have the opportunity to edit for mistakes and to fine tune the different aspects of my story.
In the end, all I’m really saying if I’ve fallen in love with my craft again. I’m enjoying writing characters that will elicit emotional responses in my reader. I’m enjoying writing stories I believe readers will identify with – both the events and the characters. I’m excited to be within fifteen to twenty thousand words of completing one of my two works in progress. It’s always exciting when I taste the finish line.
Once that novel is finished, I’ll turn my attention to the remaining wip. That one’s much harder to get right. My protagonist has physical issues that make her more complex to write. First off, I have to strike a realistic balance between her strengths and her vulnerabilities. She’s “real,” not superwoman. While she’s learned to live within her limitations, she hasn’t stopped trying to stretch her capabilities. She’s human with the same fears and doubts that plague all of us. That’s just some of the challenges she presents without adding the other elements to the story.
As if you can’t tell, I’m champing at the bit to get back to this one; but I won’t short change my other novel. The upside to the wip is I’ve been working on this book off and on for years so Lauran isn’t someone I’ll ever forget. She’s an interesting character I already know and love because her story has gone through several incarnations over the years. I finally feel like I’m getting it right. At least for now. We’ll see if I still feel the same when I get back to work on that story.
Right now, I know I’m enjoying writing more than I have in a long time.
That’s a good thing.
Calla
Tori Lennox Author 